5 Best Things About Kids

So I live with three kids now. I know, you all thought I was without child. Well I am, but I am helping a mate out at the moment and part of that has been moving in to help out with her kids.

They’re 8, 6 and 2. All boys. Life is hectic. I think I now might understand why parents scoff when childfree people say they’re tired. And as for hanging out with kids when suffering from an ‘adult headache’, well, let’s just say my aocohol consumption is at an all time low.

Having said this I’m having the time of my life. A second childhood if you will. Nerf gun battles, computer games, fish fingers for tea… It’s great fun. If exhausting.

Five months into living with the boys, here are my observations about kids:
5 best things about kids

My 5 Best Things About Kids

1. The questions. They ask the best questions. They’re always wondering. How do whales breathe? How does Spiderman stick to walls? Why does chocolate melt when it’s hot? Why, why, why?

2. The best cuddles ever. Laurie who is almost three gives the best bear hugs (okay, half strangling hugs) ever. When he shows affection, he really means it. There’s no BS with kids. It’s refreshing.

3. The belief. Laurie met Santa at his brother’s primary school at the Christmas fayre. So as far as Laurie is concerned that’s where Santa lives. All year. You’ve got to believe.

4. Joy. Have you ever said goodnight to every soft toy? Have you ever made a den and pretended to hide from the dinoroars? (Not a typo). Have you ever hunted through Leicester market for polar bear food? (Crab claws and corinader in case you’re wondering). I have and it’s pure and unadulterated joy.
5. The mispronounced words. You know that thing you bounce on in the garden? The thing with the netting? It’s a bounce-a-line. You know that white stuff you pour over cereal and add to tea? It’s molk. And that hat you wear on your head when cycling? A booser. Yes, you heard it here first.

My Five Worst Things About Kids

1. Being kicked in the nuts. Repeatedly and often not on purpose at all. They have some kind of homing instinct to always accidentally clamber over me with their kness in just the wrong position. Ouch.

2. Things going missing. Apparently hard drives are really interesting. And studio keys. And beard oil. Oh and Lego being deposited in shoes. And chopsticks in beards. I kid you not. Ouch again.

3. The lack of sleep. I’ve been woken by various shrieks and shouts more times than I care to mention. Often it’s just a dream living out vocally. They’re not even awake! But I am.

4. Being ill all the time. I moved in and I got ill. Then I got ill again. Then again. I realised last week I felt well for the first time this year. Those pesky kids and their playschool/school germs have played havoc with my immune system. I think I’m on the home straight now.

5. Missing them. They spend the weekends with their Dad. And at first, that’s great. It’s a little break from the busy hubbub of family life. But by Friday evening I’m thinking about when they’re back and which seeds to plant and whether they might like to make a little stop animation film again with me.




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